Tips for a safe and happy 4th of July!!

Happy fourth of July weekend pups! 

So, I’ve been offline here for awhile…heheh…oops. But I’m back, and I’ve got some helpful tips to keep you and all your loved ones safe this weekend!!

First and foremost, please don’t drink and drive! If you drink, don’t drive…call a cab. use an uber…get a designated driver!

Let’s talk about some safety tips for parents of babies and young kids!

It’s summer, most of the country is really hot, humid and sunny out right now. So, it’s no doubt going to be a scorcher this holiday weekend – and when it’s hot…it can get uncomfortable quickly. And uncomfortable kids can make for a bad day.

First, before you even go anywhere, make sure your kids have eaten something healthy. Food is fuel.
 
  If you plan on being out all day, pack healthy snacks like trail mix, nuts, granola bars, fruit snacks or even some sandwiches!!
  Avoid things that would spoil left in the heat too long such as yogurt, ice cream or popsicles.
   Pack refillable water bottles, a quick tip- fill a water bottle for each person the night before and place them into the freezer. The next morning you will have something to keep your other waters cool, but also an extra water bottle to drink once that thaws out! 

If you want, you can add some lemon slices to one of the bottles, or Strawberry and kiwi slices!
You won’t have to worry about your kids being dehydrated, or overloading on artificial sugar which can makes them hyper, and cranky when they crash halfway through the day.

Next, sunscreen. Even if it’s going to be cloudy or overcast, put sunscreen on them, and yourself. Pack them a hat and/or sunglasses. Dress them in lighter clothing and comfortable shoes! 

For later on that night, if you have young children, toddlers, newborns and you decide to stick around for a fireworks display – Please, protect their ears!

 Their eardrums are fragile and can burst (which if you weren’t aware, is EXTREMELY painful!) 

The older school age children, should ideally wear earplugs!!! 

Newborns, infants, toddlers should be at home, away from fireworks by this time. 

If you have a pair of noise cancelling industrial ear protecting headphones, then you can put those on their ears….but the best advice is to take them home. 

There will be plenty more fourth of July fireworks to take them to once they are older, there really isn’t much benefit to taking them when they are young. 

You may not see the harm you’re doing, but children’s eardrums are three times more sensitive than an adult eardrum and twice as likely to rupture from loud noises(i.e. fireworks, gunshots). We’ve all seen fireworks displays, and taking a young child to a fireworks display is really not worth damaging their long term hearing health.

Same thing goes for pets!(dogs especially) Every year, my local fourth of July celebration starts with an early morning parade…and the amount of dogs I see walking around on the hot blacktop, is astounding. 

Animals overheat just like humans do, only faster. On account of their fur coats, and they don’t have sweat glands. That’s why they pant, to cool their internal body temperature. 

So if you bring your animals to a celebration, bring plenty of water for them and some snacks, don’t EVER leave an animal in a car unattended with the engine off. The inside of a car even with the windows cracked. Even just a minute spent locked inside a car,the internal temperature can skyrocket. 

Remember, if it’s too hot for you, it’s too hot for your pet. 

Let’s talk about keeping your pet safe during a fireworks display. 

Did you know, more animals go missing during the week of July 4th than any other week of the year. 

That’s because dogs and cats can be so frightened by fireworks that they bolt and get lost. Follow these tips for a safe and fun 4th of July with your four-legged best friend.

 1. Don’t take pets to parades/celebrations/fireworks displays or leave pets unattended outside. Dogs trying to escape the noises can become panicked, scale fences they never did before, or injure themselves by becoming entangled in ropes. They can end up lost miles from home, suffer heat exhaustion, or get hit by a car.

2. Exercise pets early in the day and put them inside in a quiet place before the fireworks start. Keep your windows closed so that less noise and vibrations are able to enter your house.

3. Check your pet’s collar now, for updated ID tag and dog license, before he gets lost! If your pet does become lost, please visit the closest shelter (and surrounding counties shelters, when spooked, animals can travel very far!!!) to file a lost pet report and come back every day to look for your pet. Call your local dog warden, animal control or dog pound; provide a detailed description of your pet, their name and a contact number for you in the event they are picked up.

And lastly, be mindful of your neighbours/friends/family who may be veterans or active duty service members with PTSD. If you are going to be having fireworks at your place of residence, be shooting firearms or having a loud party; notify your neighbours so they may be able to make the appropriate arrangements if they need to. Anyone with PTSD, can be triggered by loud fireworks or gunshots into having an anxiety attack or flashbacks which can result in confusion/harm to themselves or loved ones.

Alright, those are my tips for a safe and happy fourth of July holiday weekend! Stay safe, and have fun! 🐾

Senses.

Happy Sunday pups. Here’s a poem I just finished. For, Άλφα..thank you for having patience with me.

Sensory deprivation is a horrid form of torture, and I brought it upon myself. But you, you’re slowly giving me my wolf like senses back, baby. In the quiet moments before each sunset, I can hear the soft, steady beat of your heart. I’d like to think I could hear your voice in my dreams last night, slowly drifting through my brain.

I told you once of the damage my body suffered while in my adolescent lifetime, and you ran your hand along the lines I wear upon my back; the ones that silence clawed into my flesh. And I swear, in that moment I felt every bend in my spine, every knot loosened, instantly.

I had such dulled senses when it comes to touch… I would have never thought you could draw such a reaction out of my skin, yet there you were. So gentle, and patient, that even I had mistaken your breath for an autumn breeze.

The Wolf.

So, happy Monday pups! I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve written anything… Just been crazy busy.
But, few things, I am just getting over walking pneumonia..I’ve had it over a month… Which isn’t gone yet so I will need to go back to the doctor..despite how much I don’t want to.

Also, uhm I’ve got an interview coming up in a week or so..and ohhhh man I am NERVOUS!!

But yeah..we’re working four days a week again..and someone on first shift got a better job in New York, so he moved there..so he would be able to better support and raise his family..and I’m so happy for him!! So we’ve been busy getting a temp in.

My grandma is doing well.. She’s happy..which is great. Went to see her this weekend..she is still convinced I’m my mum.. But at least she knows me and still likes me..so I’ll take it!

Uhm, my uncle’s murder trial sentencing was a few weeks ago as well..that girl got the max of 11 years in prison.. So there’s some semblance of justice.  I would have liked to see her get life in prison but.. You win some…You lose some.

My cousin’s birthday was yesterday..she had a party…and it was fun. My sister is at a music festival right now.. Or..just came home from one..idk.

I’m doing a little proofreading, some editing and some fun writing things at the moment!

I have a blurb/poem to share with y’all. I wrote this a few years ago when I was working through some self hate issues. Everybody goes through things they’re not keen to talk about with everyone, but I’m a firm believer that if your story/struggle can inspire and help someone…you should share that and try to make the world a brighter place. So, I’m sorry for the weird format of it..but yeah…HAPPY MONDAY, PUPS.. And remember..I love you! xxx

As she stared into the eyes of the vicious beast, which now stood before her, a familiar glint of color crossed into it’s eyes. the dark beast barred it’s sharp teeth, and hissed in an all too soft, sweet voice, laced in malice; ‘i told you never come this way. go back little girl, i warned. but on you pressed. now look…all that surrounds you is darkness. nothing can protect you from me now. i own you.’ the sweet voice snarled. the little girl, trembling, and frightened, turned to run. but something held her to the spot. she shut her eyes, now burning with bitter tears, and thrashed about wildly. until suddenly, the little girl threw her eyes wide open. but the beast had vanished. in it’s place was her own image. taller, darker, older…and sadder. she looked around her. there was red everywhere. blood. she looked again at the image in front of her. the hands. her hands, she gasped, were covered in cuts… glass, and blood everywhere. she hadn’t been fighting a beast…she had fought herself. and now….she saw she lost. that little girl….never made it out of the fight alive.

The light from within the darkness.

You laugh, like a summer breeze. Short, quiet bursts of refreshment in an otherwise still air space.

You’ve got the kind of mind I want to climb inside. I want to learn where the dips and cracks of memories become the dreamlike worlds you’ve spoken about.

I’m curious to know if being reckless was something you hoped for, or if you wanted someone to fashion themselves into a safety net beneath you. Neither seems right, at least not yet.

I imagine your hands are practiced with a pen and your mouth steady with the stillness placed on it.

You say silly things, like you don’t like wearing jeans. And I’ve never yet met someone who doesn’t like coffee, but has the same moonlight running in their blood.

Comfort is a strange thing. I found myself paying close attention to the way your mouth formed around a word today. And the careful upward curve of your smile, how strange a thing it is to be comforted by a stranger’s ability to cease becoming a stranger.

I felt connected with you, we share similar lifelines. There are places and moments we can both relate to, in much the same way.

Sleep never comes easy for me, it doesn’t come easy I’ve learned for you either. Maybe that’s because of the moonlight we carry with us. The moon never sleeps, even in the middle of the day. She’s still up, you just can’t see her.

We’re intermittently silent, but it’s never uncomfortable. It doesn’t feel dangerous.

There are things I have yet to learn of you, places I have yet to tell you about.

But us werewolves, we’re immortal baby. We’ve got all the time in the world.

So laugh for me again. That’s right, laugh. With me, for me, at me; it doesn’t matter. Just laugh, because when you do, my gosh you look so beautiful.

I must go.

Good Saturday evening pups! Hope y’all are doing well! Just a small update, the last 24 hours have been very stressful and eventful here in the dog house! I went to bed fairly early for a weekend, but I’ve been working four 12 hour shifts recently. Granted, it is overtime, but it just wears me out!

Manufacturing can sometimes wear on the bones!

Anyways, last night at about 1 in the morning my mum woke me up. She was having chest pains, thought she was having a heart attack. So, I had to call the squad(EMS). While I was on the phone, she collapsed and was having trouble breathing. I’m glad we’re only two minutes away from an EMS out post. Once they got here, they got her down stairs and sat her in a chair. They did a field EKG, she wasn’t having a heart attack. But, she was doubled over in pain, turning a grey color and felt faint. She kept refusing the ride to the hospital, and started to feel better. When they were just about to have us sign the release form, she doubled over again. SO, I told her I’d feel better if she went in the ambulance. She spent the night in the hospital, they did a stress test and a chest x-ray. Results were inconclusive, but they are pretty sure it was just an esophageal spasm. She came home this afternoon, and she’s going to be alright.

I told my little sister what was going on, and after work she came home. (She lives two hours away.) Right now, she’s sitting on the couch next to me, doing homework! Feels like we’re kids again…I miss her now that she’s away.

Anyways, the poem! I wrote this quite some time ago. Over 10 years ago to be precise! I want to share it because I’ve been missing this place so much. I haven’t been to Sanibel Island in a few years, it’s been my families vacation destination since my grandparents were new parents! Crazy!

This year for my birthday, I am hoping to take a trip down there….and I am very excited!

Hope you enjoy!

I must go visit Florida again, 
to the sea, 
And the shoreline; 
all I ask is for a week to explore it. 
The seas salty spray, 
the waves loudly crashing, 
and the gulls 
calling.

I long to hear the winds whistle across the beach.

I must go visit Florida again, 
for the feel of the warm sun. 
It's shine is beckoning to me, 
it's call will not yield. 
All I ask is for a warm day, 
to watch the waves rolling in,
washing the footprints from the sand.

I must go visit Florida again, 
to run across the snow white sands.
Walk on the sand dunes,
underneath a southern moon. 


A vacation home on the shoreline,
a quiet place to relax without a care.

Yes, I must go visit Florida again, 
Someday, I will take you there.

If I tell him, he’ll never see anything but the scars…

So, hey pups. Happy Sunday fun day! My mum and I went to see my granny this afternoon. She had a good day. She had a good day yesterday as well. My little sister was home for a few days as well, so she and I went to see our granny yesterday…we sat outside on the patio. My sister had her first day of her new job at a National Park today! Apparently it was great, and stressful? I don’t know…anyways..I have a poem to share with you today, I wrote it this morning…I….I wanted to write it for someone whom, I feel I owe an explanation to…and I hope they understand why the untouchable places that I have…exist.

Soft hands, aren’t as easily accessible as I wish they were; sometimes trusting people, can almost get you killed.

I remember the night those hands touched me for the first time, your fingers wrapped around the back of my neck, your arm pressing harshly into my chest. I couldn’t breath, I was unable to move, you forced your way into my world. I wasn’t even scared of you, we were friends. I trusted you, I thought you cared about me.

The air was warm that night, despite it being mid December. When you were done, and you released my throat, I took such a panicked gasp of air, you slapped me. Your knuckles collided with my cheekbone so hard, I heard a small crack. My legs couldn’t hold me upright any longer, they collapsed underneath me. You hauled me up by my forearm and threw me back into the passenger’s seat.

For years, I tried to cut your image out of my nightmares. Your poison still runs in my veins, I fear I’ll never be rid of it. There is not one person who knows the whole truth about all the unadulterated evil you placed inside of me, and I hope one day, I will be able to cleanse these wounds of your name.

Sometimes, late at night, I hear a scratching underneath my bed. I know monsters exist, but you made me one of them, and I am not afraid of you any longer. Now, what terrifies me, is one day, a good man will unzip my soul, and find these pieces; this mess I still carry around inside of me, and he will think me unclean. I have never let a good man love me, because good men, should not have to clean up after monsters.

A&G Part Two (SORRY SORRY)

Okay well,hello pups! It is Thursday! I just got off work so I’m gonna quickly pound this blog out before I go nuts!

I apologize in advance for how long it’s taken me to type this out, when I got home on Sunday evening, our WiFi had been out since the night I left! GAHHH!! That is aggravating! Plus, I had gotten a tad ill, I’ll get to that later. But, here we go, the second half of my A&G Con Blog!

After I left you last, we ended the CreepyPasta panel then went to the bad fanfiction panel and let me tell you, THAT WAS HILARIOUS. I got some “Homework” from it, I must read the story, “My Inner Life” and I’ve only made it to page three now…it’s hard to get through without getting distracted. Once that was over, Brit and myself went back to our room to get some well deserved sleep….because I had been exhausted. Since I had worked all the night before and had not yet taken a nap. Mr. CreepyPasta went all ‘Jeff the Killer’ on me and told me to GO. TO. SLEEP. So, I had to obey the nerdlord.

Okay, so we woke up “early” on Saturday (more realistically around 8ish) grabbed some *STAAAHHHRRRRBOOKS* (Had to throw that in there for my ThunderFriends) and I had the rest of my shortbread cookies for breakfast. ‘Cuz I’m an adult and I’ll eat cookies if I fucking want to!

The first thing we did after grabbing our coffee, and heading into the convention, was ran into Mr. CreepyPasta AGAIN. (Who was stalking who? No JUST KIDDING!!) So, we chatted for a little while, he thieved my #RedWolf #SpiritHood off of me and so of course, I now claim him as part of my pack. Calling all Red Wolves ARROOOOOOOO!!!!!

(Picture goes here.)

Eventually though, we all had to head into the Q&A panel, so we dutifully followed MCP like little ducklings, into the main event panel room thing. (I want to call it an auditorium even though it clearly wasn’t.) We got front row seats! All, five of us who showed up.. I ended up asking what their favorite colors were, majority said, blue. I ask pointless questions. I’m not very useful in that aspect. Most of the YouTube guests were there, as well as a stop motion animator, Justin Kohn, who worked on one of my all time favorite movies; The Nightmare Before Christmas. The YouTubers had another panel to go to, so they left. Brit and I stayed to hear Justin Kohn discuss stop motion animation.

It was so cool to hear all about the stop motion process on that film and a few others, like Coraline, gosh..so many of my favorites are stop motion films. Nightmare, Frankenweenie, Coraline, ANTZ, James and the Giant Peach! Even Mouse and the motorcycle! I knew it was a lot of work, but holy cow! The amount of sheer control you have to exercise to be able to do such amazing work in such a small scale; it’s astounding.

Anyways, after that, we decided to head into the YouTube 101 panel with Mr. CreepyPasta, NateWantsToBattle, DookieShed, ShueTube, MorganWant, I think that was it…correct me if I’m wrong, or missing anybody. It was very informative even though I have no interest in making a YouTube channel ever, I don’t have the follow through for such a thing.

One thing that stuck out to me from all of the Panel guests, it’s all about where your heart is and the content you put out on your channel. It doesn’t matter what system or equipment you use, it’s all about how dedicated you are to your craft.

When that wrapped up, we headed into the writing for internet horror panel that MCP was heading up.

Unfortunately, Vincent V. Cava, fell ill and didn’t think it wise to travel. Therefore he was unable to attend the Con, however I’m informed he’s feeling much better now!

So, MCP was up there just giving us a short synopsis about how to structure a good story, build the background scenes just to the point of solidification, character development and as always how to end on the perfect climax to close a story or lose end to create suspense to build for the next installment.

You know, all the good stuff.

I suggest if you’re looking for a good story, The Pastel Man is a good place to start, find it here. >>>>

Little Black Bugs, also by Vincent V. Cava is definitely a favorite of mine. Find it here. >>>>

Aaaannyways, after that we went to the NerdCore panel. I’m not too big into NerdCore music but we went anyways and I learned that yeah okay, maybe I am into it. A little bit.

Finally, my sister, Claire, and her boyfriend, Adam, showed up midday. So we got them checked into their room and into the Con. I introduced them to MCP and we hung out there at his booth for a tad, or well for a good bit..there wasn’t anything fun going on for a few more hours so yeah…we got to relax for a spell.

I did some networking. And apparently I need business cards. I kept having to write my blog down on people with Sharpie!

Since we were hanging out with MCP the whole day, we followed him to the CrappyPasta panel.

When it was well underway, MCP went right up front to cause some trouble. (No just kidding.) He became their surprise guest! And it was awesome. Fucking nerdlord. Then of course we had to go to his CreepyPasta panel…where he scared us again! Or well, I wasn’t scared..I’m never scared.

*BANG.*

>.> <.<

“What was that?”

>.> <.<

Kidding! I love when MCP reads, “You’re not scared, right?” Written by MissShadowLovely.

Find it here. >>>>

That one, really freaks me the fuck out.

When that was done, we went to check out Nate and Dookie’s late night hang out panel. Those fucking nerds. They were making me laugh so hard. I had a blast in their panel! It was a two hour panel, which was nice because it gave us time to have loads of fun, and cause immense trouble. Dookie nicknamed me dead animal head. So, there’s that.

Nate and Dookie have a collab channel as well as their own channels, you can find all of them here. >>>>

NateWantsToBattle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wS9hVmYqULQ

DookieShed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ESEhWys14c

NateAndDookie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enpGsE8EzCU

BTW, I’m just linking you to videos I laughed at or enjoyed.

After that was over, was when the real fun began. MCP went to his private party, Brit, Claire, Adam and myself went to our rooms. I think Adam went to bed then. Once that party was done, I was still awake and roaring to party. So, J, Brit, Claire and myself got into the guest party. I met some amazing people while up there, got some good press for my blog I hope! Then, some weird shit happened. I’m not blaming anyone, I think it was just a fluke. Myself and J only had one drink each, now we can hold our own. But within an hour and a half, we were both way too inebriated than we should have been. So, we left. Got back to our perspective rooms safely, I had a very odd conversation with V, then passed out.

Woke up four hours later, with the worst headache I’ve ever had. And I get chronic migraines, I should be used to things like that. But this was different. Very, different.

All day, I felt awful. I was dizzy, and my limbs were shaking. Badly. I don’t want to discuss it any further, but you can probably guess what had transpired. Once again, I don’t want to give the Con a bad name or cause any trouble, because I truly believe it was an isolated incident. Besides, nothing bad happened, we hightailed it out of there before something could.

Nevertheless, it makes me very upset that something like that would not just happen to me, but someone else whom I care about.

But, okay the next morning, once again I had to grab coffee. But I wasn’t able to hold much else down. We met back up with MCP and J, to sit in on the Mystery Read Panel. However, everyone else was late! It was funny once it got started though. They were reading a whole bunch of fun scripts and just dickin’ around.

Once that concluded, we decided to check out the Armory. I was feeling way too dizzy however; so I just filmed MCP, J, and a whole slew of other people hit each other with swords.

I don’t remember a good chunk of that day. I know at some point we witnessed a Con Wedding, it was cute as absolute fuck.

Then, we went and sat in the Isabella Workshop, but not for the whole thing. We caught the last half. I spent a few hours sitting down with MCP and J, trying to network, while not throwing up, or passing out. He wore my SpiritHood for most of that time, because he’s a secret werewolf obviously.

You can get your own SpiritHood here.>>>

https://www.spirithoods.com/

They had CosPlay wrestling, and we watched ‘Steve Irwin’ get killed in the ring with a ‘StingRay’..oh..it was heartbreaking.

I was truly in bad form on Sunday. I had bought some Girl Scout cookies because I needed something to eat.

Brit went and sat in the Pokemon Panel, I stayed behind to chat. Claire came to collect me to go to the Avatar Panel.

Brit tried to explain it to me…I still am so confused.

After that, we went to the Black Butler Panel, which I knew nothing about…still extremely lost. So we went back to the Dealer’s room to buy stuff. I bought a beautiful wolf poster, a HufflePuff beanie, several pins(as if I don’t already have hundreds.) and a black and red lace collar. I’m happy with that purchase because I’m going to use it for my OC for the next Con I go to.

We sat and chinwagged with MCP, J, and several people who would come and go periodically, until the dealer’s room was closing, which meant it was time for the closing ceremonies. We sat through that which was cool, but it was extremely cold in that room so we left.

After that was over, MCP, J and a few others joined us and we sat in the hotel lobby and talked about war history of all things! THESE ARE MY KIND OF PEOPLE! It’s so hard to find nice people, who like the things you like, and still like you. I was in need of goodhearted people.

The group of us that were hanging out, honestly I’m glad I met the people I met this weekend. I don’t trust people often or easily, but The CreepyPasta Community has really taken me in and I’m so grateful for that.

It was getting a little bit late, MCP had a flight to catch and we had to get on home too, so we said our goodbyes, and we went our separate ways. Brit and I drove home, then stopped at Olive Garden when we were close enough to home.

Alright, well *whew* what a weekend! I hope I didn’t miss anything! I had a great weekend, with amazing people, new and old!

Alright pups, I’ll upload photos and videos in a minute! Stay warm! Love you! xxx

Θα είμαι εδώ για να σας καλωσορίσω στο σπίτι.

The ancient Greeks had several gods that they worshipped and prayed to. Each one, for a different reason. Warriors would sit for hours prior to long battles in temples and pray. Pray for their safety, pray for good fortune, and pray for a favorable outcome.

Both Ares and Athena were closely related to war. Ares was known for his thirst for battle. Athena, on the other hand, reverted to war only for the purposes of justice, and she preferred peaceful settlements when possible. 

The god of war, Ares; not only was he the god of war, he was the god of violence and vengeance. He wanted all warriors hands to be stained with blood. War, violence and bloodshed. The holy trinity of heroes.

His half sister, Athena, was not only the goddess of war, but of wisdom. She did not believe in violence, bloodshed or warfare, but in the causes for which wars were fought. She wanted peace and intelligence to coat the warriors hands, not blood.

Each one was worshipped for different reasons by the warriors. One to keep them safe, another to ensure they were victorious.

Those warriors, who would leave their homes and loved ones behind for months, sometimes years, to fight wars.

Oftentimes, when they came home, they were no longer the same men who left; rather they were hard, scarred, they smelt of dirt, blood and charred flesh.

But their wives, welcomed them with open arms and full hearts. just grateful they came back home.

Just because someone travels far and wide, faces demons, gladiators and death, dealing in blood over and over again, does not mean they are not still humans; with beating hearts and passionate souls.

They fought for their country, their families, their gods and their kings. And upon each return, they were given a heroes welcome.

So go ahead, do what you must; whether it is march off to a far away land to fight gladiators, or just take a midnight walk around the grounds; either way I’ll still be here waiting, to welcome you back home.

Hollywood hung up on you.

There are afternoons,
I imagine you coming back for me.
Days where I sit by the front door,
hoping to hear your footsteps coming up the walkway.
But they never do.
You never do.
You haven’t been back here in years,
not that things have changed.
Nothing ever changes here.
I wonder if you ever did come back,
if you would look for me.
I’m not the little girl you left behind anymore though.
Some days I look at my reflection in the mirror,
and barely recognize my own face.
If I’m unsure of my own identity,
how can someone else claim they know me? One thing that always stuck with me,
even now ten years down the line;
was that you told me the world was waiting. I had believed you then,
A silly child,
dreaming of happy endings and fairy tales.
Now I know,
you weren’t trying to inspire me, you were running away.
The world doesn’t wait,
it never has.
This world will spin you around until you feel sick.
If you came back here now, you’d have to pry the front gates open, they’re not locked, just unused.
I want to tell you that now I know,
The world may not wait for anybody, but it will let you along for the ride.
You’ll get through this,
but you won’t come out alive.

It’s the middle of the day.

Good morning.
Good morning.

With all this suffocating darkness,
I would have thought it midnight;
I would have, if not for the small, faint, chirping of the early day bird songs,
that are seeping through the leaking windowpanes of my bedroom.

In the air, hangs the dormant smell of last night’s whiskey, worn leather, and fresh coffee grounds.

There’s something wicked lurking through my house today, filling in the corners and climbing up the walls.

I can hear it like radio static, scraping the insides of my skull.
Almost like nails down a blackboard, it leaves my brain clutching to the darkness.

I want to crawl back under those blankets and forget what I must do, but responsibility is screaming for me to move.

I still can’t see anything, there is a gray light touching the edges of my peripheral vision now.

I’ve never been good at gray scale, my everything is always so black and white.

Always one or the other but never both, not until last night.

Last night when I tried to fold myself like a napkin in your lap, after years of laying wrinkled.

I remember the night i met you.We danced, delicately. You held me like a wine glass, with slow, practiced hands.

Now, years later, all that is left of us are dirty clothes piled on the floor, shattered glass ware and your almost full ashtray.

You stormed out and haven’t come back once. But I’m still waiting here, under these covers, hoping that chirping I hear, will morph into slow, practiced footsteps coming back to me.

The smell of coffee, old worn out leather and stale whiskey, coats my lungs. Just like a dormant, wicked, shadow, waiting to climb into the corners of me; the ones you, left empty.

Good morning.
No, good night.