lonely

Self Care For Valentine’s Day!

Wolfette, , , , Leave a comment

Hello there again pups! So, since Valentine’s day is today, I thought I’d write a little blurb about self care and how to “treat yourself better” not just tomorrow but everyday. I started thinking about this a few days ago, I had noticed a lot of people on a few of my social networking sites had begun to either complain or brag about their relationship status for the upcoming holiday.

A little background, not that it matters; I have actually never had a significant other on valentine’s day.

Which really, uber, super-duper sucks.

But, I also have never had one around for my birthday, or Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Halloween.

None.

So, why should this day be more upsetting than any other?

It shouldn’t. It’s a normal Saturday, I’m not gonna treat it like it wasn’t any other day; truth be told I’m just as miserable all the other days of the year….But I’ve been carb loading on pasta and ice cream all evening so i’m feeling slightly better about it!

Which is what I’m going to babble on about for the next few paragraphs here: feeling better about things!

First things first, to anyone reading this right now, just please know that no matter what; put yourself first.

Always.

That has been a hard lesson for me to learn and live by. Most days it’s still a huge struggle for me. I seek approval from people regardless of who they are or how they play a role in my life. I just, don’t want people to not like me. But I feel it’s important to always take a step back and ask yourself, “Am I doing this for me or for someone else?”  I find myself constantly bending over backwards to please people, mostly men…because I want to seem likeable and that’s dumb….I just need to like me. And, I do like me…

There is a huge portion of women, myself included who have found ourselves single this time of year and become slightly bitter about it. But, I want you all to know, that being bitter isn’t helping. I know it’s nice to be able to complain…believe me I do plenty of it. But if you take some personal time and reflect on how great you are, you’ll feel better.

That’s why self care is extremely important. For me, self care is all about making yourself feel safe, happy and fulfilled.

Short term self care, is something that is perfect for this weekend. For example, let’s say you’re a single pringle, and all your friends either have dates or plans; what do you do?

Well, do whatever you want! A few things you can do are:

Put on your comfiest pair of sweat pants or pajamas…for me, I’ll be wearing my OnePiece! Comfiest thing in the world. You can get your own here->>

http://www.onepiece.co.uk/

I have five of them!

Then, maybe you can put the kettle on and make some tea! I prefer Barry’s Irish Breakfast Tea, the Gold Blend. But make whatever you like!

Get something yummy to eat! Order a pizza! Go to Chipotle!! Get Chinese food! Or, make your favorite meal!

Settle into your favorite recliner, or on your comfy couch with a blanket!

Pop in your favorite movie or find one of your favorite TV shows to watch! I love the show Criminal Minds. Dr. Spencer Reid….oh baby oh baby!!!

If TV isn’t your thing, grab a new book to read!  If you don’t have any new ones, dig out your favorite book from your childhood and go on a wonderful adventure!

I love to curl up in bed with my Harry Potter series.

By now you have probably realized I’m slightly unconventional in the things I enjoy; and if you’re looking for something a little more of that nature; look no further!

If poetry is your thing, well http://www.darkpoetry.com/ is a great place!

If you want to read some spooky stories, I suggest finding some reading material here->>

Creepypasta

These are short stories or long stories that are of the horror variety. Now, if reading them isn’t something you want to do, check out some YouTube channels of my personal favorite CreepyPasta narrators!

www.youtube.com/Mrcreepypasta is an American narrator who is undoubtedly one of the coolest spoopy…yes…that’s the right word..nerds I’ve ever come across.

youtube.com/creepypastajr is an American narrator who is HILARIOUS…and his love for bacon is…just inspirational.

https://www.youtube.com/user/missshadowlovely is an American narrator who is sweet, funny and she is just an all around awesometastic lady!

youtube.com/CreepsMcPasta is a British narrator who…i’m fairly sure is a Pokemon!

Now, if you’re looking for something along the lines of horror with a slash of comedy, I suggest purchasing a book written by Vincent V. Cava. He is an American Author whom, I’m glad I can actually call a friend. He has a few books out and there are some on Audible. You can purchase them here ->>> http://www.vincentvcava.com/

If you’re looking for something funny, here’s a list of comedy movies to look for and watch!

->> http://www.timeout.com/london/film/100-best-comedy-movies-the-full-list

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_American_comedy_films

Now, settle in with your favorite glass of wine, or whiskey or in my case…a Guinness.

Snuggle up with your favorite four legged friends and relax! Life is short and sweet, so don’t stress out over tomorrow. Remember, being alone right now doesn’t mean you’ll be alone forever. And love yourself..you deserve your love more than anyone else. Always love yourself!

And hey, if you still are stressing out over being alone, my inbox is open. Feel free to drop in and talk to me! I love you!

Happy Valentine’s day!
XXX

There was never any new sounds.

Wolfette, , , , , , , Leave a comment

You know what I remember most?

The silence.

I spent years wrapped up in you, after we met on a calm summer night.

Summer breezes now remind me of your hugs, and I hate that. The late summer night we spent tucked into each other in your jeep was the first time I’ve ever let a lover see me cry. You held me soft, for the first and last time that night. It’s strange to think that it’s been almost four years now, since we met.

Sometimes I think about our last fight. We screamed so loudly at one another, you threw the weight of your passions at me, but it didn’t matter in the long run. We never listened to each other. We were like refracting magnets, always at odds. Eventually, we fell apart. Like an ancient sculpture in a flooded courtyard, the only thing we could do was leave.

We weren’t meant to stand together, I know that now. You always slept on my side of the bed, I could never get used to that. I had only ever dreamed alone, now I lie awake and wonder how I ever did.

The first time someone asked me if I missed you, I didn’t say yes. I hadn’t been lying, I didn’t miss you. I only longed for parts of you, not the whole thing.

Like, your arm. Not both, just one. The one that fit so perfectly under my neck at night. The one that coiled around my shoulder like a snake, holding me in place.

Your love was less like a hug, and more of a vice. When you held me, it felt soft. Your grip was strong, but it felt as if I could shatter if I tried to break loose.

In the end though, I didn’t shatter. I burst into an urgent flame, the heat from my chest sears off parts of you I had wanted to keep.

We loved like a heat wave; warm, but suffocating.

I hadn’t meant for our love to look like this. We turned in on ourselves like crumpled bits of paper.

There hasn’t been one part of me since, that has reallly wanted to turn around. I knew that last day, I had to leave you behind me. The last time I saw you, I knew I had made the right choice. You had turned yourself into a match head, waiting to strike yourself on a rock, just to burst out in flames like you had done when you ignited me the first time.

But I’ve long since snuffed that fire out of my veins. I am not made of fire anymore, just ashes and charred flesh.

I’ve always enjoyed the smell of gasoline in the air, like a scent to remind me to come back home.

Slowly, I had been cleaning my burned soul, cleansing the tarnished walls that still stood.

It’s been years now, since we held one another. Last night though, I thought about you. About how you had been the first person to light the match in my head, and the last one to notice I was on fire.

I used to sleep with a radio on, or a fan. But you always said that sound kept you awake. I had learned to be familiar with the quiet, now whenever I hear music in the dark, I think about you.

How you would have traced your fingers down the bend of my spine, pushing each vertebra back into my body. I had almost forgotten the sound of your voice, until I heard that crackling static from a song we had listened to for a whole summer. I’m unable to hear anything at night now. I committed your silent slumbers to memory, like a page in a memoir.

It’s not fair; we used to love loudly, like a concussion rattling our brains, everything always echoed. We spent days on end without the quiet hum of comfort.

But now, whenever I think about you, all I can remember is the silence.