Alright so I’m gonna do this real right quick. I’m at work and typing on my phone so, forgive me!

This is a poem dedicated to someone whom, I have known near 7 years now. I love you very much, you are the anchor that has kept me here for quite some time..and I thank you for that. You’ve stuck by me through all the nightmarish stuff I’ve done and all the terrible aftermath.

But I wanted to write this because it occurred to me today that I missed your birthday.

So Joseph, I know you’ll probably never see this, but happy birthday blue eyes.

I remember the day I first saw you,
i saw your eyes so clearly.
They were a piercing blue, like a glacier’s insides.
There was a calming air around your silhouette,
swirling like your cigarette smoke.

They told me, to be wary.
Said, stay away from that boy.
He’s trouble.
He’ll hurt your soft heart.

So I would tread cautiously around your warm edges,
too afraid to fall into your arms.

But somehow, I knew you’d never harm me.

The night we first talked alone, face to face, I’ll never forget.
We stood silently in a corner for several minutes,
you tucked a stray piece of my hair behind my ear.
Later, you told me it was only to run your fingers across my cheek.

We danced that night. Fast and silly, caught up in the booze we soaked our souls with.

The very first night we spent together, we just sat up all night, stargazing. That was the very moment I knew, I loved you. Sitting on the ground, watching the warm summer sun rise through the treeline, I realized you and I were made to go through this life intertwined.

I spent years sneaking out in the early morning to share coffee with you, nights upon nights I would lose sleep to share secrets with you.

We made love, most frequently, not with our bodies, but our words. I often imagine myself, crawling out from under this silence we live in.
The both of us swapping secrets like sea shells. I remember whispering things into your skin, hoping you’d keep them safe.

Two weeks before Christmas. We danced in my den, slowly. That was the first time I imagined us building a life together.

The years have come and gone, boys and men have walked in and out of my life. Yet there you still are, I am waiting for the day to come when I can walk to you in the daylight.

Someday, you tell me. Someday soon.

We have never been able to be together, there are too many reasons why we shouldn’t.

You and i have never been you and i. We have never been joined like that. One day, you say we’ll run away. Together. Forever.

And I just don’t know if I believe you, but I’m willing to find out.

I fall asleep each day, hoping this is the day our secret finally becomes a reality.