Alright! It happens to be 3:30 in the morning! And I’m at work.

Yay!

But, I just wanted to write a little blurb about friends!

Throughout my life, I have had a hard time making and keeping friends, mostly due to my social anxiety.

I’m not too great at small talk, or even talking on the phone, face to face interaction scares the living crap out of me!

So, the friends I made, I didn’t make a whole lot of them. And most of them…I don’t see or talk to any longer. I only have a small handful of friends I see from my hometown nowadays. I live in a small town so, most either moved away or…we just grew apart.

But today most of my friends I met online.

And they are like a network of love, from all across the globe!

I’m so lucky they’re all in my life! Some, I met through our mutual love of a world music group called Celtic Thunder! Others, through One Direction. Most recently, I’ve met amazing people through the CreepyPasta fandom and I’m so lucky to have found some of those people!

I just wanted to write this little blog to say thanks to all my friends who love me and support me and look after me.

I don’t get to see you often, or talk to you everyday; but I know without a doubt, I can count on your support in anything I do. And if I fall, you will catch me.

So this poem, is dedicated to my pack. (Yep. Pack. Like a wolf pack.)

Brittany, Sammie, Liz, Kayla, Kendra, Ash, Lyndzi, Laia, Alexis, Alexa, Allie, Megan, Frankie, Jake, Moses, Jesus, Joe, Keith, David, Boey, Clive, Janos and  Vincent.

Most of you are like family to me. You have been so amazing to me this past year and a half. You have no idea how much I appreciate all the love that’s been sent my way. This past year has been rough for my whole family, especially my mum and myself.

And I wouldn’t have gotten through it without you pups!

When I was growing up,
my parents told me to be careful on the internet.
Said, always keep your identity a secret,
Don’t give out any personal information.

Told me, I couldn’t trust people online.
So, I learned to fear online interaction.
But I was never told that people around me shouldn’t be trusted.
I had to learn that the hard way.
And learn, I did.

The first time someone I trusted, aired my secrets to the world like a radio show.

The second time,
a friend whom I confided in during a time of great struggle,
plastered my shortcomings up like bulletin boards.

The third time,
a boy,
curled his hands around my neck like I was a bottle.
He shattered me and painted my body purple and blue,
carving it down to bones.
I’m still picking pieces of him from my throat.

The last one,
he promised me,
he was going to turn my broken pieces into a mosaic.
Instead he decided he liked buying cigarettes more than collecting art.

I found myself alone,
with no one.
I spent more time on my own than I was ever used to.

Slowly, I began spending time on social media; talking to people,
building connections.
These people,
took me in.
Took care of me.

I felt like a puzzle,
slowly being assembled.
Today, I’m sure I’m almost whole.

These people, while not physically here with me,
are there for me more than anyone could ever know.

I don’t know what I would have done without them.
They taught me the value of real friendship; and shown me that just because I can be around someone,
doesn’t mean I should be.

They’ve proven that for every fair weather friend, I can find two true blue ones.